What is love?

[RGL_UK]

At around 11 last night i was sat in the cinema next to my beautiful girlfriend, when she turned around to me kissed me on the cheek then smiled and turned back to the film we was watching.

Although she had done this i couldnt turn back to the film and i just sat there and stared at her for a few moments and thought to myself i actually do love this girl to bits.
So then the question what is love crossed my mind.

So i put to you, the members of PS3T, what is the defination of love?

[Yamaharu243]

an irrational emotion that is unnecessary and only causes pain

[RGL_UK]

an irrational emotion that is unnecessary and only causes pain

It causes pain because it is a risk we take.
Yet saying that life is a risk.
In life there is a massive chance we will get hurt but we carry on.
Surely the same ideas follow love aswell.

[PandaPanic!]

Love is how you emotionally feel towards someone or something although i think serious deep down emotional love can only ever be felt with another person as for the definition of it i don't think there ever could be one as all people have different feelings and attractions towards that special person and has specific and unique things which attracted them to that person in the first place such as personality or physical features.

Love is a great thing to have and it really is one of them feelings money can't buy you when you are having the time of your life with the person you love deep down but at the same time Love is something that can rip you to apart and make you very depressed and upset about where things went wrong or didn't work out.

[Chrisbes32]

love's a bitch. That's just my personal life experiences so far though. If this thread is still alive in 30 year's I shall post again (Y)

[Hazel1558]

In response to those that say Love hurts - It does because you have put the true you on display and are scared that you will get hurt as that is when your at your most vulnerable. Its the what if's and wondering whats going to happen as no one truly knows and thats what makes it so scary.

The thing with love is that if a relationship ends and your broken hearted the pain is so painful its like a death and a part of you has died. I am a strong believer that when somethin dies inside you that apart of you dies with it too. Sorry to be all morbid.



This is a hard one in itself to answer and I guess everyone has their own versions of what is or means to them so this is what it means to me:

Love to me is when you provide that someone special with unconditional love (and I am not going on about sex here guys I know how you guys think lol) when all your feelings are out their and you can share them without any worry. You enjoy the time together and have a strong friendship. When you know that person inside out and know what they are going to say next before they open their mouth. When you know that person is down/sad without them telling you or they are trying to cover it up. Love is about trust and respect you can't have love without both of these. Also you love the person for who they truly are and not what they look like. Love is a feeling not an attraction. Finally knowing when to have time apart to truely appreciate what you have got rather than being round that person 24/7.

'
Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction.

Hope this helps lol

[Kroogah81]

Love is just empty words. Saying "I love you" is equall to nothing.
I have been loving a girl, but she wasn't loving me, so I cannot say much in this thread. Love is nothing for me, it doesn't excist.

[RGL_UK]

Love is just empty words. Saying "I love you" is equall to nothing.
I have been loving a girl, but she wasn't loving me, so I cannot say much in this thread. Love is nothing for me, it doesn't excist.

Im sorry to hear about that :(.
I hope you find someone better.
I also hope someone changes your mind on if love exists :).

[Hazel1558]

Love is just empty words. Saying "I love you" is equall to nothing.
I have been loving a girl, but she wasn't loving me, so I cannot say much in this thread. Love is nothing for me, it doesn't excist.

Sorry to here about that hun, I know when you meet the right person you will realise that love does have a meaning and does exsist. In time you will be loved in the same way you love someone. Hope your ok

[Laika]

For such an open concept, you really restricted the possibly answers in your poll. It's a human construct used to define something we cannot comprehend, but we can see cause and effect, we just don't understand the 'why?'.

[Hazel1558]

For such an open concept, you really restricted the possibly answers in your poll. It's a human construct used to define something we cannot comprehend, but we can see cause and effect, we just don't understand the 'why?'.

I think it was more like 'what is love' rather than the 'why' side as this is another big question initself lol. I did a big post in response to the original question. To sum it up though its an overwhelming emotion / feeling to have for someone. By describing what is love you can actually understand the 'why' part :D

[RGL_UK]

Ok well heres a new question.
From a purely biological view love is a equation.

6,17-dodecahydrocyclopentaphenanthren-3-one + androstenedione + estrone + aromatase --------> 17β-estradiol.

Although this looks complicated it really isnt.
(Anyone doing As/A2 chemistry should understand the majority of it and anyone who wants to know just pm me :).)

Also love surely inhibits the whole idea of Dawkins and us being under the influence of a selfish gene because his idea comes from the whole concept that our sole purpose is to pass on our gene's.

Then surely love is a inhibitor to that as you will be with one person.
It would provide more useful to reproduce with many people.
So i now put to you, what is the point to love?

[Hazel1558]

And this is why I hate science because they think they have the answer to everything LOL

[geejay1221]

the point of love..?
i think it's a source of happiness..
and a source of sadness as well.. :)
happiness because.. you want that person
to love you.. and a source of sadness
because the one you love is the one giving
you pain and suffering.. if it were other people
it's just fine.. but it's your love.. :D
and besides.. i'm too young to understand this..
i just want to feel it.. not go beyond what i wanna feel..=]

[RGL_UK]

the point of love..?
i think it's a source of happiness..
and a source of sadness as well.. :)
happiness because.. you want that person
to love you.. and a source of sadness
because the one you love is the one giving
you pain and suffering.. if it were other people
it's just fine.. but it's your love.. :D
and besides.. i'm too young to understand this..
i just want to feel it.. not go beyond what i wanna feel..=]

I like it.
But its not a source of sadness all the time :).
I agree it can lead to it but i suppose when you find the right person the sadness doesn't matter so much.

[James!]

While answering this question listen to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo
I think love is a mental thing.. you need to be in the right frame of mind to love someone and you have to be confident about things too

[Hihihellobye]

Ok well heres a new question.
From a purely biological view love is a equation.

6,17-dodecahydrocyclopentaphenanthren-3-one + androstenedione + estrone + aromatase --------> 17β-estradiol.

Although this looks complicated it really isnt.
(Anyone doing As/A2 chemistry should understand the majority of it and anyone who wants to know just pm me :).)

Also love surely inhibits the whole idea of Dawkins and us being under the influence of a selfish gene because his idea comes from the whole concept that our sole purpose is to pass on our gene's.

Then surely love is a inhibitor to that as you will be with one person.
It would provide more useful to reproduce with many people.
So i now put to you, what is the point to love?

Studies and MRI scans based on people who are "in love" are limited and non comprehensive, which makes the idea of dissolving "love" to a single meaning and a line of chemicals in our brain a far fetch.

We have different reactions to different stimulus, and our brains indulge in cocktails for more than one reason.

There are too many types of love. Mother's love. A son's love. A pet's love. An infatuation. A nostalgic love. A friend's love. A stalker's love. All these have different motivations and implications, but the available chems in the brain are limited so many of them will have multiple uses.

What I am trying to say is that we cannot measure emotions solely with chemicals, because they are based on external and internal stimulus that has to be interpreted to get an understanding. Looking at the cocktails is a very small picture approach.



Originally Posted by geejay1221 View Post

the point of love..?
i think it's a source of happiness..
and a source of sadness as well..
happiness because.. you want that person
to love you.. and a source of sadness
because the one you love is the one giving
you pain and suffering.. if it were other people
it's just fine.. but it's your love..
and besides.. i'm too young to understand this..
i just want to feel it.. not go beyond what i wanna feel..

Yes... but no...

Love is not happiness when you want the other person to love you. Love is happiness when you want to be there for them. It is an outgoing thing. If your love bases on the other person loving you back, it is a possessive feeling and will likely keep you from hapiness
Love can bring sadness when it is not reciprocated, but this is mostly because you wanted to do something and you can't

[RGL_UK]

Studies and MRI scans based on people who are "in love" are limited and non comprehensive, which makes the idea of dissolving "love" to a single meaning and a line of chemicals in our brain a far fetch.

We have different reactions to different stimulus, and our brains indulge in cocktails for more than one reason.

There are too many types of love. Mother's love. A son's love. A pet's love. An infatuation. A nostalgic love. A friend's love. A stalker's love. All these have different motivations and implications, but the available chems in the brain are limited so many of them will have multiple uses.

What I am trying to say is that we cannot measure emotions solely with chemicals, because they are based on external and internal stimulus that has to be interpreted to get an understanding. Looking at the cocktails is a very small picture approach.


It all comes down to our chemistry. Fidgeting, concentration, sleep, energy levels, mood swings, even the ability to sweat is controlled by the chemicals lurking about our bodies. Serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, melatonin, insulin, and prostaglandins are some of the more important ones found within us.

I think it is part of an individual's personality that triggers the feeling "that person's for me". I thinxvk chemical and other physical conditions help shape the person's desires, experience can provide guidance on what is acted on but what the person actually is attracted to is part of their personality and is not subject to change.

So, the feeling of love cannot be controlled.

yet i believe when the sparks fly it's a chemical attraction.
Then love grows or it doesn't. A person can control their arm movement, they can control when and when not to physically do something but to control feelings of love?

Personally i think love is a gift.

I do believe that love is a chemical which is hard to control but you have to use your rational side and not your emotional side if you really believe that you are in love.

For those who fall in love spontaneously I feel may be chemical but some go looking for it and fall in love due to a "want" or "need." I believe it isn't a chemical so to speak but more of a physical/emotional/intellectual "chemistry."

Initially I feel that an attraction to someone is a chemical/physical one in most cases. If you want to go with the flow there's no need to control the feelings of love. I believe one can control the feelings of love, just like we can control most emotions if we wish to. Example if we find that the initial attraction was one of a physical kind and not all we were wanting, then yes we can control and simply walk away.

Laika also pointed out that i have been very small minded on this topic but how can i place more poll's and more options in a subject that has no single sided answer, when even my own answer has a position in many ideas put forward about love.

So i placed the 3 most common answers.

[Goooner!]

Love is a 4-letter word :D:L

[Kroogah81]

Love is a 4-letter word :D:L
It's a serious discussion, man.

I think that love is just equall luck. You just have luck finding the right person. I haven't found any yet, but getting in love in a person, that doesn't love you just destroys your feelings about the love. Or if it exists. Me and a friend of mine are both persons that don't believe in love anymore. We tried several times, I got in love with an amazing girl, but she didn't want to take that step. He had like that about 2-3 times. So love is just luck. Either you have it or not.

[Hihihellobye]

It`s a chicken and egg situation RGL. Like asking if we fall in love because of the chemicals or if the chemicals are released because we fell in love. We will likely never know the answer to that, since it is probably impossible to conduct observation of a decent sample of people "falling" in love.

All that we have are the observations of what chemicals are in our system afterward, and it is a very subjective observation, since we do not know exactly the feelings of the person we are observing (love can mean so many different things to people claiming to be in love)

Kroogah81

Don`t give up... you`re way too young for that. Bad experiences will only make you appreciate more when you actually find that person to spend your devotion on. And when you do, you will feel foolish to have ever wanted anyone else.

Some people never find their partner, and I believe this is more about the society we have created, where if you are not sleeping with 10 people every week you are a loser and men *have to* watch porn and read Maxim, and women *have to* be selfish biatches with zero tolerance policies.

Imo, people who want to but never find their match never knew themselves to start with. Desperate to find someone else, people forget that one to know and love oneself to identify a good partner.

[RGL_UK]

It`s a chicken and egg situation RGL. Like asking if we fall in love because of the chemicals or if the chemicals are released because we fell in love. We will likely never know the answer to that, since it is probably impossible to conduct observation of a decent sample of people "falling" in love.

All that we have are the observations of what chemicals are in our system afterward, and it is a very subjective observation, since we do not know exactly the feelings of the person we are observing (love can mean so many different things to people claiming to be in love)


I like it :).
I think I will change my stance slightly to incorporate your ideas.
I wonder if we will ever know what causes it.
I very much doubt it.

[Hihihellobye]

I like it :).
I think I will change my stance slightly to incorporate your ideas.
I wonder if we will ever know what causes it.
I very much doubt it.

Yay! Someone likes my ideas! :D

You`re right we`ll probably never know... so well, just feel da feeling then lol

[stringa93]

Love is just another way to get set up for pain. Pardon the pessimism but that's all it seems to be in my eyes.

[kyle82]

love is complex.. love cannot be understood totally.. nor there are things to follow for a successful love.. people can get crazy just be dealing with love problems... love can kill.. love can make people laugh.. love can teach.. love is everything... broad and complex... :u:

[ps3geek]

I think its when someone has feelings for someone else but if you ask me girls are a waste of time i prefer doing my own stuff

[Transcendence]

It causes pain because it is a risk we take.
Yet saying that life is a risk.
In life there is a massive chance we will get hurt but we carry on.
Surely the same ideas follow love aswell.

Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

It is technically a chemical reaction so that's what i voted for. What we perceive is what our brains let us perceive and love and any other emotion is totally subjective and inherited in animals because of it's positive effect on our survival rates. For example you see a large predator so you feel scared and try to evade it or encounter it instead of ignore it which you would if you had no emotions.

Love is just an emotion that we feel so that we feel the urge to bang whoever we feel it for. Which is - i would say anyways - is a pretty vital part to the continuation of your species.

It's good that people think that it's more than that and that only a few people think like yama. If all humans thought like yama we'd be pretty fucked.

[TheMightyImp2]

It's corny, but love isn't finding someone to live with, it's finding someone you can't live without.

[civilred1]

42. No wait....

[mickyt888]

If i actually found real love i wouldn't be on this board.

Love is true but unfortunely true love is rare.

[M-47]

listien to elephant love the song and you will find out what love actully is

[BenMessie1981]

Hazel do you not believe that love can cause jelously and insecurity??
I beleive it can. Jelously is mostly caused by insecurity. Boyfriends going off on one with their girlfriends for talkin to some bloke, but the truth is because really they are insecure about themselves etc. And love can cause insecurity because when you fall in love, expecially if you have already been hurt before, people can be scared of their own feelings?? Causing insercuity.

[Yamaharu243]

or because guys are claiming to be 'in love' and realy just wanna deck whoever talks to they're object

[BenMessie1981]

I know what love is!!!!
Its all those women who I had 1 night stands with. Hehe, I gave them a fake mobile number cos i knew i would only hurt them in the long run. Now thats what I call love.

[Murton]

an irrational emotion that is unnecessary and only causes pain

Yamaharu nailed it.


Love is just another way to get set up for pain. Pardon the pessimism but that's all it seems to be in my eyes.

So did Stringa.

[Yamaharu243]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo

[CraigyBL2]

Love = Craig + Empire: Total War, when it decides it is going to load and work.

This is actually quite a good analogy because all the game is causing me is pain by not working. I still have strong emotional feelings for it, however. Oh shit, did I just admit on another forum that I have sexual feelings for a piece of software .. God damn it :P

[RGL_UK]

Love can sometimes be magic.
But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.

[JohnOhhh]

i believe its when you'd do anything for her and when you have her you never want to let go, i have a girl i really like but i hate asking! :(

[Reaver]

i believe its when you'd do anything for her and when you have her you never want to let go, i have a girl i really like but i hate asking! :(

Strum up the courage and go for IT!!

It's better to know, than to wonder.
You can still fancy the pants off her if she says no xD